I've just returned from an expedition to a magical island from the past. Those of you who've seen the movie Jurassic Park might be acquainted with this idea. However, instead of a land where dinosaurs roam, this is an island inhabited by ancient girls dresses for birthdays.
Hard to believe, but true. These dresses are made out of grass, branches, animal hide, beaver pelt, leather and rocks. It's hard to imagine what the cave girls of hundreds of thousands of years ago looked like in their primitive girls birthday dresses. But it's easy to picture them jumping for joy and doing some kind of primitive party dance in their dresses. I wonder what these cromagnum girls unwrapped for their birthdays. Perhaps rocks or sticks or even spears.
One thing is for certain, these birthday girl dresses must have brought a lot of joy to their primitive owners. They probably thumped their drum skins pretty loud. Imagine a birthday girl making a cave painting in her dress. The paint would've been made from berries or crushed leaves ground into some kind of tincture. The only question that remains in my mind is how did these neanderthal girls know when their birthdays fell if they didn't have a calendar? Do they just guess? Does a birthday girl just wake up one day, get dressed and say, today is my birthday so I want to celebrate. I have so many questions, but alas my visit to this mysterious place didn't answer any. I just raised more conundrums for me to ponder. I hope one day to return to birthday girl dress island, as I have since dubbed it. Of course, I don't know if I ever will because transit to this place cost almost 3 dollars, and I only have thirty-five cents left in my piggy bank. But if I ever raise enough money to return, then I hope to bring back a sample with me. I will donate it to the Museum of Natural History, because obviously, girls birthday dresses hold a very important place in our collective conscience.
If you have a desire to see how the birthday girl dress has evolved over the eons, then please visit this wonderful site. They have a terrific selection, great customer service, and there are no Homo Erectus working the telephone, so they won't respond to you with grunts or clicks. Enjoy amigos!
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