Jurassic Park full of Girls Birthday Dresses

I've just returned from an expedition to a magical island from the past.  Those of you who've seen the movie Jurassic Park might be acquainted with this idea.  However, instead of a land where dinosaurs roam, this is an island inhabited by ancient girls dresses for birthdays.

Hard to believe, but true.  These dresses are made out of grass, branches, animal hide, beaver pelt, leather and rocks.  It's hard to imagine what the cave girls of hundreds of thousands of years ago looked like in their primitive girls birthday dresses.  But it's easy to picture them jumping for joy and doing some kind of primitive party dance in their dresses.  I wonder what these cromagnum girls unwrapped for their birthdays.  Perhaps rocks or sticks or even spears.  

One thing is for certain, these birthday girl dresses must have brought a lot of joy to their primitive owners.  They probably thumped their drum skins pretty loud.  Imagine a birthday girl making a cave painting in her dress.  The paint would've been made from berries or crushed leaves ground into some kind of tincture.  The only question that remains in my mind is how did these neanderthal girls know when their birthdays fell if they didn't have a calendar?  Do they just guess?  Does a birthday girl just wake up one day, get dressed and say, today is my birthday so I want to celebrate.  I have so many questions, but alas my visit to this mysterious place didn't answer any.  I just raised more conundrums for me to ponder.  I hope one day to return to birthday girl dress island, as I have since dubbed it.  Of course, I don't know if I ever will because transit to this place cost almost 3 dollars, and I only have thirty-five cents left in my piggy bank.  But if I ever raise enough money to return, then I hope to bring back a sample with me.  I will donate it to the Museum of Natural History, because obviously, girls birthday dresses hold a very important place in our collective conscience.  

If you have a desire to see how the birthday girl dress has evolved over the eons, then please visit this wonderful site.  They have a terrific selection, great customer service, and there are no Homo Erectus working the telephone, so they won't respond to you with grunts or clicks.  Enjoy amigos!

Bigfoot loves Birthday Girl Dresses

This just in from the Pacific Northwest:  Bigfoot has been captured on film. And he wasn't even in the forest.  He was in the city of Spokane, Washington, in search of girls birthday dresses.  Yes, the hairy Sasquatch has a daughter, and her eighth birthday is coming up, and he needs to get her a cute girls party dress.  So he did a little window shopping and took some time to pose for the locals.  After hamming it up for a good half hour, the yeti returned to his quest for the perfect birthday girl dress.

It has long been known that this ten foot tall creature had a predilection for girls birthday dresses.  Last year, three birthday dresses went missing during a girls camping trip.  Footprints confirmed what everyone had long suspected.  This was the works of a half-man, half-ape creature from the woods.  Moreover, he left a strand of hair on a thorn bush.  The hair was analyzed for DNA and it came back with 99% certainty that the hair belonged to Bigfoot.  

Little Foot, which is the name his daughter goes by, loves to attend parties.  Naturally, she needs a girls party dress that is roomy, since she is quite big herself.  Girls birthday dresses are perfect for her because they make her feel cute and feminine.  This is something she desperately needs, since she stands 8 feet tall and weighs close to half a ton.  Like any other human girl, she enjoys wearing party dresses to birthdays because they are so festive and lovely.  If you know any girls who no longer need their birthday dresses, send them to Little F, and she will gladly take them so that she can traipse through the woods looking her best.  

Girls birthday dresses can be hard to find.  They are almost as rare as Bigfoot himself.  However, this fabulous online store has a whole bunch of them.  In fact, their selection of birthday girl dresses is something you won't believe until you see.  Don't believe me?   Check it out yourself here.

Girls Birthday Dresses from the 1800s

The styles and fashions of the 1800s has long been an area of interest for me.  I grew up with 7 older sisters, so I was exposed to fashion at an early age.  The fact that I was a boy made no difference to my sisters.  They loved girls dresses and so did I.  I spent countless hours playing with their collection of old-fashioned dolls, which exposed me particularly to the area of fashion in the 1800s.  Later, this knowledge served me well as a lineman for the the New England Patriots, where I played for 7 seasons.  One season for each of my sisters.  LOL!

Birthday Girls Dresses of the 19th century includes the Federal Area, Jacksonian Era, Dickens, Manifest Destiny, Victorian, Antebelum, American Civil Warn, Gilded Age, Gay 90's (whoo-hoo!) and the Old West.

My love of this area of dresses for girls birthdays extends to hoop skirts, blouses, camisoles, chemises (obviously), drawers, hoop-slips,over and under hoop-slips, and hats.  Hat of course include straw hats, amp, felt, et al.

As the 19th century progressed, woman's form lines were more and more revealed.  The waistline deepened, returning to it's natural polace.  The bodice got tighter, and the skirt became fuller and more shaped like a bell.  Hello girls birthday dresses!  Petticoats, often made of horsehair (can you say nay?) were quite in the mode.  The word crinoline comes from the french word crin, which means horsehair.  Yikes!

Girls wore bonnets outside and they wore linen caps inside.  That was how they could tell outside from inside, back on their birthdays.  Petticoats were often made from steel frames, or hoops that held it away from the legs.  Can you believe it?  Yikey McMikey!  By the end of the 19th century, girls dress styles changed.  The silhouette deepened.  Magazines started publishing paper patterns for dresses, and a whole exiting new era for fashion was born.  By the 20th century, the fashion industry was in full swing.  Girls dresses were being pumped out by the thousands.  Working in factories that made birthday dresses wasn't much fun for girls.  They locked you in and treated you miserably.  The girls worked round the clock, even on their birthdays, and I can't imagine they were allowed to model their dresses in front of the mirrors very often.  Maybe for just a few hours a day.  Barbarian!

In the Victorian Era, the rich really got to have some fun.  Ain't that always the case, though?  The poor had to rely on second hand clothing, altering the clothes themselves to fit.  And they often had to hem patches on them.  Patches!  I don't like patches on girls dresses for their birthday.  It's bad enough when school teachers sew them on the elbows of their blazers.  

In the late 1890s, under the reign of Queen Victoria.. God save the Queen clothes got plainer and the bustle got smaller.  Girls had a lot less fun in their dresses, if you ask me.  Honestly, Queens like that give other queens a bad name.  Bodices often had bones in them.  So that was the first time a birthday girl got boned in her dress.  LOL.  I don't get it.  Do you want to see some real girls birthday dresses?  If you do, go to this website.  If you don't, go anyway!  LOL.  

One Girl's Birthday Dress Wish

This birthday I will be a nine year old girl.  I will have 10 candles on my cake, one for good luck, which means I get ten wishes, right?  Well, I know exactly what I'm going to wish for.  This little girl wants a beautiful dress for her birthday.  And why not?  I want to look special and beautiful.  That's very important, because I'm starting to age now, and I don't want to lose my youthful appearance.  That would be very difficult for me.  

Birthday dresses are very important because they make the wearer feel special on her special day.  It's kind of like a bride when she gets married.  She's supposed to be the most beautiful girl at the wedding.  Well, it's no different for a nine year old.  She should be the most beautiful girl at her birthday.  I mean, how embarrassing would it be if everyone sang happy birthday to the wrong girl?!  And how weird would it be if the guests arrived and saw a different girl in a beautiful dress and assumed it was her birthday and not the host's birthday, and they gave her the presents and well wishes instead.  That would be absolutely horrid and unforgivable.  Fortunately it's very avoidable.  You just have to make sure the birthday girl is wearing a special dress.  

Here are the criteria that different a birthday dress from an ordinary dress.  A birthday dress must be colorful, vibrant, and they have to have a wow factor.  That means they must twirl or turn inside out or do something absolutely amazing.   I saw some dresses for girls that it this description perfectly.  I'm not going to tell you where I saw them until the end of this blog posting, because I'm learning how to build suspense.  Hey, give me a break.  I'm only nine!  You should've seen me yesterday.  I was only eight.  LOL.

Anyway, I really hope I get a stunning girls birthday dress this year.  Last year, I got a sock full of nickels.  What a disappointment.  A dress would've been so much better.  Wait.  What was it I wanted to tell you?  Oh yeah.  Now I remember.  I was going to recommend a terrific website that sells girls birthday dresses.  My favorite one can be found here.  Just click this link and you will be transported to a magical world.  A world where a girl gets ten birthday wishes, they all come true and they're all birthday dresses!